susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
