I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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