I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
