Where did you get a picture of my penis
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She told me I should be a condom model.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
