I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
