a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There's always time for handjobs
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
