thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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