Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
