We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize