i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
