so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
