i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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