Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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