Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
