we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
