belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My first STD was from a foam party
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
