Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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