office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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