Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
