My pussy is not your playground.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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