god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
