OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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