Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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