I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
