she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
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i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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