it's too hot outside to masturbate.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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