Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
