It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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