No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i came on her dog
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
