She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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