you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
