stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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