Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
