actually, I'm a sock model
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I AM VODKA MAN
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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