what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize