So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
oh god the rape fog is back!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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