I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
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I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize