Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
