just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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