a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
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I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
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dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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