she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The ass gains better be worth it
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