I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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