I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
