You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
