It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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