so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
