I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
