PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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