I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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