a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Pappa wants mamma naked
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
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