I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
