you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize