apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
