I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
