Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You need Xanax blowdarts
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
