I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Randomize
