i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
