so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Are we still banned from the library?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
