mondays should just be called national damage control day
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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