I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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