Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
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I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
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He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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